Raw and Restless

With Mental Health Awareness week upon us, I wanted to share with you a bit of my insight from my own journey.

For just short of a year, I’ve struggled with chronic insomnia. In January, I injured my head, resulting in a concussion. Ever since, I have not been able to sleep well on any consistent basis. Some nights, it takes me hours to fall asleep and others I wake up every hour. Unfortunately, my bed feels like my enemy now, like I’m fighting with it every night. It causes me distress most nights to be laying there and not resting. I know what exhaustion does to the brain and body, and it’s not good. Even on nights I get “good” sleep, only waking up a handful of times, I wake feeling tired and sometimes more exhausted than days with worse sleep. Supplements, diet and lifestyle changes seem not to phase the insomnia. I’ve seen doctors and naturopaths and neurologists and I have not found relief from their recommendations.

So, why am I sharing this with all of you? Well, I guess it feels good to just say it. I often hide my symptoms from friends and family. I want to do what everyone else can do, so I push myself to do fun things, stay up late and enjoy time with loved ones. But I’m tired. Really tired.

As I was exhausted and trying to force myself to get some work done today, I pondered upon a familiar idea I had almost forgotten. We have this extremely high standard for productivity in our society. We expect people to get up early, work all day, fall into bed and get up the next day to do it all again. Rest is looked at like “unproductive” and “a waste of time.”

I also wanted to write this to express how extremely important it is to be compassionate and understanding to people. Maybe your friend has cancelled plans a few times. Maybe someone you know struggles with staying productive at work. Maybe someone you talk to seems lackluster about a conversation you’re having. You never know what someone may be going through.

We too often fail to recognize just how stressful and exhausting life can be. Trust me, rest is never a waste of time. This week, I challenge you to be extra gentle and kind to the people you encounter. You may be the only one who shows it to them. And for others struggling, I see you, I feel you and I’m here for you.